Surgery
It's appropriate that I haven't posted in 9 weeks because I've had no free time. On a typical day, I set my alarm for 4:30AM, and get home anywhere between 6 and 8 PM. Crazy hours, the worst hours I've worked all year, but it hasn't been that rough on me. I've found that I don't mind waking up early or being at the hospital all day. The only thing that bothers me is that in order to make it all work for me, I have to get to bed by 10PM, and that leaves very little time to do anything when I get home. That lack of free time is the worst part of it all.
I've definitely having second thoughts about whether this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. These hours are rough, and it's going to be hard to have a life outside of the hopsital once I start residency, if I get into orthopaedics. The thing is, I haven't really found anything else I would rather do. I'm definitely into surgery, and being in the OR is the most interesting thing I've done this year. I can't really see myself doing anything else. Emergency medicine sounds good because you work 12 hour shifts, 3 days a week, which leaves plenty of free time. But what you ER doctors actually do doesn't interest me, because it seems like it's a lot of people with chest pain or someone coming in drunk or on some drug trip.
I guess you have to decide what's really important to you. I can do something I like, and give up a couple more years of my life to working like a dog. Or I could do something I don't really like, but have it pretty easy. I think you have to go with what you like and just trust that everything will work out for you. The fact that I like what I do helps me through the long days. I'm around people I like, doing things I like to do, and the hours go by super fast.
That's another thing, right now I think the most important thing that will determine where I want to end up after I graduate are the people in the program I join. If I'm working with people I like it won't be that bad, and on the flip side, if I'm surrounded by tools, I'll want to kill myself. One of the best orthopaedic surgery programs in the country, which is in NYC, is rumored to be a malignant program because there are a bunch of gunners there who will cut your throat to get ahead and make a name for themselves. Theoretically, if they were to offer me a spot there and I found the rumors to be true, I can honestly say I would lean towards saying no because I care about my own happiness and sanity more than the name that will be on my diploma.
So it's been an exhausting 9 weeks but its been rewarding at the same time. I've gotten to do some cool things. Some attendings let me suture the skin closed at the end of the surgery, which I really like. It's just cool to be able to do something with your own two hands, to have the ability to be able to fix something, even if it's just closing skin. I've gotten to help with knee and hip replacements. One of the ortho attendings let me put screws into a guys broken leg to fix it. It's a little weird because it's exactly the same as putting a screw into a desk or a table, and it takes no special skill, but it still felt awesome. I guess that's why many people refer to orthopaedic surgeons as glorified carpenters, and I have no problem with that.
I've seen a lot of sad things too, I should save them for another post, if I ever get the time. The stories aren't as important as the fact that I've kind of become numb to them, and it's not something I'm proud of. But if you get affected by every person that comes into the hospital, you would never survive. You have to dehumanize yourself a little otherwise you would go home and cry every night. It's complicated, maybe I'll get into it at another time.
I've definitely having second thoughts about whether this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. These hours are rough, and it's going to be hard to have a life outside of the hopsital once I start residency, if I get into orthopaedics. The thing is, I haven't really found anything else I would rather do. I'm definitely into surgery, and being in the OR is the most interesting thing I've done this year. I can't really see myself doing anything else. Emergency medicine sounds good because you work 12 hour shifts, 3 days a week, which leaves plenty of free time. But what you ER doctors actually do doesn't interest me, because it seems like it's a lot of people with chest pain or someone coming in drunk or on some drug trip.
I guess you have to decide what's really important to you. I can do something I like, and give up a couple more years of my life to working like a dog. Or I could do something I don't really like, but have it pretty easy. I think you have to go with what you like and just trust that everything will work out for you. The fact that I like what I do helps me through the long days. I'm around people I like, doing things I like to do, and the hours go by super fast.
That's another thing, right now I think the most important thing that will determine where I want to end up after I graduate are the people in the program I join. If I'm working with people I like it won't be that bad, and on the flip side, if I'm surrounded by tools, I'll want to kill myself. One of the best orthopaedic surgery programs in the country, which is in NYC, is rumored to be a malignant program because there are a bunch of gunners there who will cut your throat to get ahead and make a name for themselves. Theoretically, if they were to offer me a spot there and I found the rumors to be true, I can honestly say I would lean towards saying no because I care about my own happiness and sanity more than the name that will be on my diploma.
So it's been an exhausting 9 weeks but its been rewarding at the same time. I've gotten to do some cool things. Some attendings let me suture the skin closed at the end of the surgery, which I really like. It's just cool to be able to do something with your own two hands, to have the ability to be able to fix something, even if it's just closing skin. I've gotten to help with knee and hip replacements. One of the ortho attendings let me put screws into a guys broken leg to fix it. It's a little weird because it's exactly the same as putting a screw into a desk or a table, and it takes no special skill, but it still felt awesome. I guess that's why many people refer to orthopaedic surgeons as glorified carpenters, and I have no problem with that.
I've seen a lot of sad things too, I should save them for another post, if I ever get the time. The stories aren't as important as the fact that I've kind of become numb to them, and it's not something I'm proud of. But if you get affected by every person that comes into the hospital, you would never survive. You have to dehumanize yourself a little otherwise you would go home and cry every night. It's complicated, maybe I'll get into it at another time.
posted by Chris at 7:12 PM
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